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Is it bad to wipe back to front?

Paul the psychic octopus Crystal ball No yes
Yes or no answer!

Yes, it is bad. Don’t ever wipe back to front. To begin with, it’s just weird. What an unnatural motion. Also, ladies, you run the risk of getting stinky fresh shit in your urethra and developing a UTI. And men, you run the risk of inadvertently smearing shit right across your perineum and onto the whole back part of your ball-bag, which is just gross. Moreover, men, imagine if you have a medical emergency such as a terrible accident where your genitals are crushed in an olive press. You’re rushed to the ER. A hot young female doctor is like “okay scissors please, I need to cut his skinny jeans and pants off, oh, what the… is that what I think… he’s got a thick layer of shit going right from his asshole nearly all the way round to the base of his dick. Can we confirm he didn’t shit himself when he was crushed? Yes, we can, then that means he must have… oh my God… wiped back to front. I’m not sure I can continue with the surgery, I think I’m about to throw up on his sad crushed dangling penis.” Be wise, always wipe front to back.

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