No, size doesn’t matter – that is, if you’re talking about your wiener. Stop comparing yourself to those ridiculous gargantuan bonafones you might have seen online. In fact, kill your phone (not your bonafone, just leave that alone for a bit). Over time, you’ll notice how much better you feel about yourself. There are certain times, however, when size definitely matters:
- Reaching for a jar of pickled onions on the top shelf
- Participating in professional sumo wrestling
- When fighting multiple orc assailants at the same time