Good news! You can forget P90X, Rushfit, Bodyshred, RIPT90 and all the workout programs out there. The latest sensation in calorie-shredding weight loss is… the humble fart.
If you’ve heard the outlandish online figure that each fart burns 67 calories, we can finally put that wild rumor to rest. It’s actually 64 calories. Paul cranked out a juicy fart fog and ran some anal-ysis on it. He discovered the miscalculation that yielded the incorrect 67 calorie figure, something to do with too much emphasis being placed on rectal resonance factors.
So if you feel like losing weight, before you leap off the sofa and bound to the gym, consider just rolling onto your side like a beached porpoise and tearing a new hole in your ass while crop dusting your carpet.
If you’ve just enjoyed a particularly satisfying fart, then consider supporting Guts UK, a charity committed to fighting all digestive diseases (set up to increase the levels of research into diseases of the gut, liver and pancreas). Because everyone should be able to enjoy farting without fear!