Are unicorns real? Are unicorns real? Of course they bloody are! If they weren’t real, why would Scotland have adopted the unicorn as its national animal? If you don’t believe us, just google ‘scottish flag unicorn’ or do we not ‘google’ any more, do we Tiktok? God help us. Anyway, the Scots decided as early as the 1400s that they loved unicorns so much they would become their official animal. It was because they symbolised purity and power, the two things most alien to Scotland’s national character. If the first thing you envisage when you hear ‘Scotland’ is a bunch of hopeless trainspotting-esque thieving uncut junkie scum, hold that thought, because that image is only one redundancy/relationship-breakup away from the truth for most filthy Scots (jokes, we love the Scottish lol).